Much Ado About Nothing

My wife and I spent an hour or so on the couch looking at some websites on my phone. Afterward, I got up from the couch, walked across the room, and she then asked "Where's my phone?"

So I did the easy thing and called her phone.

As soon as the call connected, we could hear it vibrating and she declared "I feel it in the couch. It must've gotten stuck between a cushion. Could you get it for me?"

So I pulled off the two removable seat cushions. The cushions along the back and sides are sewn into the couch, however.

No phone.

I call the phone, again. I can hear it vibrating but can't quite pinpoint the location.

I then slide my hands between each remaining cushion, but nothing pops out. I stick my hands in next to the right-hand cushion (where my wife had been setting) and find out that the cloth suddenly stops deeper into the couch.

Uh oh. Did the phone slide into the couch?

Calling the phone again, I can still hear it. buzzing.

So I try reaching deep into the cushions, as far as my arms will go. It isn't far enough to reach the bottom of the couch.

Maybe if I roll the couch onto its back that will put the phone into a reachable location.

Nope. I still can't reach it. Maybe if I tilt the couch against a side-table then the phone will slide into reach.

Still no luck.

I know that couches often have a cloth covering the underside, maybe there is a way to get through that covering to get to the phone.

I take off the rear-right leg to see if it can be opened.

It's secured with staples, not a zipper. Ugh.

Well, I've had this couch for 20+ years. If I destroy it, I won't be hurt to let it go. Time to remove staples to get in there. I want to remove as few staples as I can to gain access so that I do not have to do as much work to put it back together.

Digging around in there, I see a metallic glint staring back at me. Is that the phone?

Nope. A spoon from my bachelor days before over 13 years ago.

Still no sign of the phone other than calling it I can hear it vibrate. But the location of the vibration doesn't seem right to me. It's a little too diffuse and I can't pinpoint the direction. The fabric must be making it difficult to locate the phone.

I've looked on, in, and under all the furniture around me, and I am now looking inside the couch. Time to go deeper since my poor arm cannot reach all the places the phone could have gotten lodged.

So I then peel back half of the undercarriage.

I then pick up my phone to try and call her phone again. Wait, she's calling me? Is this from her backup phone?

"Hello?"

"You can stop looking. I found my phone," she declares.

"Really? Where?"

"In the bathroom. I decided to retrace my steps for today before you completely destroyed the couch."

Oops! She had left her phone in the bathroom a few hours earlier. We can hear the vibration through the floor into the family room; I've even told her how I can hear her morning alarms going off.

That explains why we could hear it vibrating now, but couldn't pinpoint the location. As a human, it's easier to pick out sounds that are coming from the left or right but not above or below.

But that doesn't explain why she could feel the phone vibrating while she was sitting on the couch.

Oh well.

Thankfully, I have a staple gun so I resecured the cover and flipped the couch back into it's original location.

And now I have one more spoon...