A Curious Mind

I recently went in for an umbilical hernia repair. A few days before the surgery, a nurse called me to ask a bunch of preparatory questions.

Because this was my first time undergoing sedation, I was curious about the process, so I chatted with the nurse. In the conversation, she mentioned that the first question most people ask when they come out of surgery is "When do we start?" This question emerges because most people do not notice when the sedative kicks in and, consequently, do not know when the surgery really begins.

I have a bit of a phobia related to needles. On the day of the surgery, I was very aware of when the IV was inserted, when the tape was applied, and when the lower-temperature medicine hit my arm. I also noticed the ceiling start to wobble like the surface of water, on which I commented as my last conscious statement.

As I was waking, I blurted out the first burning question that had apparently been on my mind. "Did I have an erection?"

"No" was the calm response from the unflappable nurse, whose facial features I couldn't yet make out.

"Interesting. I had a dream, so I thought I might have been in R.E.M."

"Nope."

In the hundreds of times I have replayed this conversation in my mind since, I have blushed and face-palmed aplenty. Had I been more conscious, I definitely would have worded my question more delicately.

I've also grown curious about what else the nurse has seen and heard as she wakes patients from anesthesia, when they are at their most vulnerable and direct... Thank heaven for HIPAA!

#NoFilter