Kidney Calamity

I hate being a burden to other people and interrupting their daily routines. I regularly feel like a fifth wheel in social situations. I rarely try and spontaneously start a social event because that would mean getting other people to conform to my schedule. And I do not like asking for help unless I absolutely must.

A number of years ago I was preparing to serve a embark on a great journey to Thailand. I had been planning this for months, and was going to be gone for about 2 years.

I was stoked.

Ticking Clocks

My wife and I are exhausted. We work long days and weeks, and we often do not get the requisite hours of sleep.

Last Saturday, she had an teaching appointment at 8 a.m.—30 students all wanting to learn at her feet. On Friday night, we set the alarm to wake us up at a quarter to 7 so that we had plenty of time to get to work.

The alarm sounded, as anticipated. We both got up and did our morning routines, groggy as usual from inadequate rest. I helped get all our stuff into the car so I could drive her to campus and so I could work in the lab for a few hours until she finished.

Moonshine Missteps

October 11, 2010. Evening. I was running a few minutes late, briskly walking down the sidewalk to a nearby building where my beautiful wife was waiting for me so we could carpool home.

While striding down the street, I caught a glimpse of a guy hopping out of the brushes and onto the sidewalk. He then stared off into the distance at what I thought was a car. Then he pointed, with a big grin, and said, “Did you see the eclipse? It’s awesome!”

I blinked, turned, noticed the moon, and said, “No it isn’t.” Richard, you killjoy.

Hammocks Are For Fruit?

When my wife and I were still single and “weren’t dating” I went with her parents to go see some plays down at the Shakespeare festival in Cedar City. While there we took a day trip to St. George to meet up with my wife’s uncle and cousin.

My wife’s family was picking up her cousin so that he could come to visit for a few weeks.

Before arriving, my wife warned me that her uncle was a bit rough, and would probably have some “blue language.” Thankfully I can usually handle that kind of language.

Hick Humor

In my previous blog post, I mentioned that I have a tendency to keep my mouth shut and allow people to think me pure. But occasionally I open my mouth and remove all doubt.

About 10 years ago I got a job working in the back room of a phone card manufacturer. I helped package large bundles of phone cards that were shipped all around the country. I also had a couple coworkers who similarly packaged up phone cards.

Silence is Golden

I am typically a quiet person. I am an extrovert, so I like being in conversations with groups of people. But, I generally steer clear of controversial or sexual statements. As a result, people believe that I just cannot think in such “low brow” terms.

However, once in a while, I surprise myself and others with the kinds of things that come out of my mouth. I have a knack for picking just the wrong thing to say at just the right time.

My High School Harem

In my junior year of high school, I asked a good friend of mine, “Tammy,” to the homecoming dance.

As homecoming approached, I coordinated with several of my friends to do a group dinner. We settled on a murder mystery dinner hosted by one of the girls.

Several couples attended the dinner, and we had a blast. I quickly was exposed as not the murderer, but I still enjoyed watching the interplay and creativity of the party attendees.