Metaphorically Speaking

The other day my wife and I were driving back from shopping when I suddenly realized "The name 'Ender' from 'Ender's Game' is symbolic of the fact that he always wins; he always ends the game."

My wife responded "You just realized that? How long ago did you read that book?"

I'd read the book 3 times and love it each time. The first time was in 6th grade, the second in 10th grade, and the third time while working on my undergraduate degree. I am now a year past finishing my doctorate.

You'll have to excuse me...I'm a little slow.

Friendly Meetings

I'm preparing a presentation for a large conference in my field of study. This conference has ~2500 attendees who each attend various presentations across roughly 16 tracks which means about 150 people per presentation at the conference.

Nerve-racking to think about all the people who could see my presentation.

As I prepare occasionally my mind thinks back several years and I am racked with guilt, embarrassment, and horror each time this thought comes to mind.

Lingua Franca

My wife and I were sitting behind a car with a license plate frame that said ”alumni” across the top and ”kamehameha” across the bottom. I laughed and said, ”That's a magical incantation from a Japanese cartoon show” thinking that it was some sort of cryptic reference.

My wife looked askance and said, ”He's the first king of Hawaii, and that's probably a reference to a school named after him.”

So I looked up ”kamehameha” on my phone and sure enough, it is the name of the first king of Hawaii and there is a school named after him.

Is it weird that my knowledge is largely informed by pop culture?

Glympse into the Minds of Programmers

I love Glympse. It is a great tool for long trips; I just pick some family members, a destination, click "send" and then those family members can follow my progress to that destination. It's also great for letting people know where you are around town in case you want to meet up.

The app has gone through some updates recently which drastically changed the interface but made it much easier to send Glympses. In addition, some feature came to my attention (either they were added or they were new). One of the features I noticed while setting up a new Glympse is the feature to add a message. So I tapped on it.

Up popped a list of 50 or so canned messages as well as a text box to enter a custom message.

Scanning through the list, some of the messages appear useful. For example, "Almost there!" "I'll be right there!" and "I think I'm lost."

Costco Condiments

I walk back from the soda machines with two root beers and set them down next to our other food. My wife then says to me, "Do you want to take out your hotdog...?"

I cut her off. "So I can condomize it?" My wife's eyes widen. "Er, cond-i-ment-ize it?

"Yeah, so you can condomize it." She chuckles. "That's right up there with your 'banana hammock' story."

And I thought I was doing so well...

What is that Wonderful New Scent You've Discovered?

I emerged from the bathroom after trying out a new flavor of Listerine and sat down next to my wife.

She promptly asked, ”Did you put on Bengay?”

I responded, a little incredulously, ”I used that new Listerine.”

She then, matter-of-factly stated, ”No kisses for you. Your mouth smells like Bengay.”

Note to self: no more listerine.

TMI Hotdogs

No. It isn’t what you think.

I was at Costco the other day. I finished up shopping a little before the store was shutting down. I hadn’t eaten anything for dinner, so I decided to stop by the food court.

When I approached the counter, the attendant asked for my order, and I said

“One hotdog, please.”